I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane

Ohhh, my goodness!
I can't believe I'm leaving for Europe tomorrow! I am scared, and I don't mind saying it. I'm so tired and stressed out...I just hope that this trip is worth all of the crap I went through [and am still going through] to to get here or there or wherever. Did I mention that I am currently more than irritated with the admin. at my school...I don't know why things have to be so complicated!!!
I haven't been able to sleep the past few weeks and I don't think that that will change until I get back to my bed in Chicago, or at the very least home in Tulsa again...I really just want to see my man, he makes me feel comfortable no matter how stressful my life becomes. I love him quite a lot.
I'll be taking tons of photos...Everyone has said to do that, so I suppose I will have to do that.
ugh...I hate packing. I hope I have everything I need.
Things to get...for others, and maybe something for me
A mint for a family friend
something for Karen
Pictures for 'everyone and their brother [a special one for my man, of me in the dress he bought for me, in France ]
Something nice for Rachel[she lent me her camera for the trip]
French milled soap
Something for my best friends Amber, Tierza, Maggie, Emily, Valerie
Something in French... for Jeni my amazing friend
I can't wait to taste the food, see the sights, visit the shops and just soak it all in...
Well, I suppose that I should get the rest of my stuff packed and head to bed, especially since i still need to pick up my allergy medicine, call my Guy and get to the airport with my sisters to begin the first leg of my European journey this next month. because I'll ba gone a month!!!

All My Love

When you hold me
• You have all my Love
When you look at me
• You have all my Love
When you read to me
• You have all my Love
When you love me
• You have all my Love
When you love others
• You have all my Love
When you walk with me
• You have all my Love
When you challenge me
• You have all my Love
When you encourage me
• You have all my Love
When you tease me
• You have all my Love
When you squeeze me
• You have all my Love
When we touch
• You have all my Love
When we kiss
• You have all my Love
When we talk
• You have all my Love
When we dance
• You have all my Love
When I See you
• You have all my Love
You Are...
•All My Love

How Things are

I was so excited to be home, but sometimes being home comes with it’s own set of complications- and sometimes the feeling that one can get nothing done! And that while you are with ones you love you are away from others you love and care for.
Today was exciting and disappointing at the same time. It was disappointing because I wasn’t with the Man I love when he was going through so much [attending a wake for his grandmother and seeing family that he’d not spoken to in a long time]. My other disappointment was nothing really important, it was just me driving across town to go visit my favorite coffee place [Double Shot Coffee Co.] The good thing was that my Mom and I got some stuff together that my school needed that will make my life so much easier when they get their job done.
Ohhh so good. I just spoke with my Man and today went as well as it could despite some minor annoyances. I was just excited when he called and sounded almost normal! That really made my day, along with the fact that I got to see both Ellen and Jenny D. when we met with the others concerning our trip to England. I am very excited about Jenny coming on the trip because it means just one more cool person to hang out with, drink coffee with, do yoga, make food, shop, hike [less hiking, more fun having] and generally have fun!
I am so blessed.

Leaving a Home for Home

It is Tuesday, and I've only been home Six days...yet it seems like so much longer

I left Chicago by Plane after being taken to the blue line train by the man I adore.
My Man escorted me to the train today after presenting me this morning with coffee and chocolate chip cookies – I just gave him the keys to my apartment… I was packing the last few things in my carry-on bag and rolling my suitcase towards the door when I was pulled back into the room and pulled into the tenderest of embraces and told that he didn’t like long goodbyes on the platform… As it turns out, neither do I.
After several emotional moments we release one another. I pull him back to me once more before composing myself, grip the handle of my suitcase and roll it out the door, with him trailing behind and locking the door behind us.
As we reach the stairs he takes my suitcase and carries it down after me to the street where we turn right to make the walk to the station. That walk was one of the most painful walks I’ve ever had to make, both of us were silent as we walked the block and a half to the Logan Square train station.
When we reached the stairs to the platform he again picked up my bag and carried it down three flights of steps to the platform, where not 2 minutes later the train I’d asked him to get on rolled in and after he kissed me for the last time and said goodbye with lips and eyes I stepped through the doors to the train that would take me to the plane that would take me away for the summer to my hometown of Tulsa, Okla.
I looked out the window onto the platform as I took my seat and caught his eye as he waved goodbye in the most dejected manner. I swear, I hate looking into his eyes when he’s less than happy…it makes me so sad.

It was a long ride to the airport that day…so long that I had to call home and talk to my mom and sister while I rode the train, just so I wouldn’t think too much about leaving.
I got to the airport alright. The airport employee that checked me in at the self check-in looked my outfit over when he saw that I was flying stand-by with a first class preference. And after receiving his blessing and a question as to whether or not I had shoes other than the green gel flip flops I was wearing [I did ] I checked my bag and headed for security.
Checking my baggage and getting my boarding pass was a breeze as was going through security despite the woman in front of me holding up the line a bit when she had to have her stuff inspected. But after replacing my laptop in my carry-on and making my way to a waiting area I replaced my flip-flops with a more demure pair of black pointy flats with brassy buckle tops to go with the grey slacks and hunter green tank that I paired with a lovely lime colored cropped short sleeved sweater.
I love the fact that you never know when and where you might meet someone you know. After sitting for but a moment in the lounge area at my gate I looked across the lounge and noticed a tall blond haired man intent on the book he was reading, I got up from my seat and walked over after realizing it that it was a friend of mine who was also on his way home.
I would much rather converse with a friend than sit alone while waiting to board. It was also nice having a friend after my rough mornings goodbye, as well as the gate change and later leave time for our flight. Richard, as he is called is attending Law school after several years teaching…he is much like another friend who is doing basically the same thing.
We had a nice talk before the flight. I got first class, thanks to a friend of the family who makes it possible for me to fly stand-by. I again was seated next to another middle aged businessman I’m at least glad that he didn’t try to strike up a conversation... those sort of passengers are so annoying.

Things

So much has happened recently that I don’t exactly know where to start. My last day at my Job was Monday the 26th, I was actually scheduled for 15 hours this week. It was a Mon/Wed week with the hours spit between the two days, even though I wouldn’t be working again ‘til the end of July, given the fact that I was leaving Chicago for my home in Tulsa. I was anticipating and dreading that day like none other. I love Tulsa, my Family, Church and going home to see friends but this time it was different… I feel as thought I am being pulled ( gently) in two directions.
On the one hand I have my family, my home and Church that all mean the world to me and I to them, but now I also have my school, my friends, and the man that I love.
I am continually amazed at the depth of his character and love for me.
Did I mention that he bought me the loveliest dress? Well, I mentioned that I liked a particular dress at the store I work at and he asked where it was located one day while he was out- after looking at the dress he mentioned that he liked it and imagined that I would look quite pretty in it. A couple of days later he shows up at my Apartment with a bag that had a very nice men’s button-up shirt…this was after he said that he had nothing to match the dress.
To which I replied “it’s white, it goes with everything”
A few weeks go by and I’ve not bought the dress[it’s not an inexpensive dress for a working student ] and He asked if I had bought the dress yet…I had not, but he bought a charcoal grey fedora that he thought would be perfect with the dress. I can’t believe that a week or so later he says to me, I have something for you…and he hands me some folded bills and essentially says ‘go but that dress! I don’t want them to run out of your size’. Oh, how could he! I don’t know anyone more thoughtful.