Life-Reality...Things Experienced

I'm tired...this weekend- well the past few weeks really, have just drained me. I dislike stress and complications and they just seem to follow me about, as if we're attached at the proverbial hip.

Have you ever sat next to someone whom you are head-over-heels for, and are unable to say a word? I experienced this feeling recently- more like a few hours ago- I have so much to say, but as I've found, the things you want to say to those you love the most are often the things that are the most difficult- I don't know if it is fear, restraint, self-preservation, or thoughtfulness for the other, but I think that most of the time it's really just fear. The fear that what you say, might hurt- them or you, it doesn’t matter who- but either way the things never get said, the actions, rarely displayed, I pray that God will give me the strength and the courage to show others the love I have for them [the love that God has given to me].


I think that later I’ll recount the events of the weekend in greater detail, the cookout we had went quite well and many things were thought about and many more went unspoken, but it’ll be fine.
I hope that things will fall into place and go quite well.

Life, Stress and Traveling

I don't know about life sometimes...quite often things are just a pain in the derriere. Take traveling for instance and school [Higher Education in this particular case, but I'm sure it applies to more], both are amazing an wonderful things for a person like unto myself. I like to know things, learn, discover, I'm naturally curious to know how things work and how other people like to do them. But I really hate and I truly mean hate, not strongly dislike, but hate certain aspects of travel and the current educational system that is being utilized in America today.
Organization is so important in travel and education, but sometimes I believe that schools today are so departmentalized and hyper-organized that they, in-fact are so far from actually being simplified organizational systems to being highly complex and confusing, completely defeating the purpose of being organized, which is creating a simpler way to do complex things. Its very similar, I feel, to a math problem...on the one hand you can go through pages and pages of complex equations just to find the solution to a particular problem, or as there always is in math, you can utilize a simpler formula/ equation and come up with the same exact solution to the problem without having to jump through any hoops or taking any unnecessary steps...you just do it and there it is.
Well, I'm done trying to figure that one out.

'Free' Time- Even Free time isn't Free

This is such a strange feeling por moi... having free time that is, It is something I don't quite know how to handle having it. and it is really only for part of this week.
I don't know what I am going to do this summer, well actually I do, and that may be part of it. I am a bit apprehensive about it, but hopefully when I'm in the middle of it, it'll be OK.
I am not a world traveler, in fact I'm really not even a country traveler, I've really only been to a few places in my own lovely country and mostly just in the middle region, or the Midwest as many call it. The biggest jump for me was moving to Chicago from Tulsa [my favorite city of all time] for school. Doing that has been one of the best and often the most lonely thing I've ever done. Thank God the loneliness has abated some...I still miss my family immensely, but God has provided me with an abundance of wonderful people to keep me going, not to mention the opportunity to meet the most wonderful man... I am astounded at how good God is to me, one who definitely does not deserve it.
Currently I am planning what I need to pack for my trip. [I'm going to Europe for the summer, from June 13th to July 14th] It is so stressful!
I am not sure what to pack, how to act, what to think, and how to plan... I like to be prepared for anything and everything which means that often I over pack and carry around things that 'might' be needed in some random circumstance but usually are just an extra weight in my bag.
My Man, as I call him bought a PlayStation3 [so he will have something to do over the summer] he said that with his cousin and best friend both moving this summer as well as me, going to Europe, he will have nothing to do. I know that I will miss him...a lot. But it is good that this trip was already planned before we met, because if not, I probably would not have gone and it is something that I have to do.
Alright, enough of this...I've got a few more things to write and even more to pack

This Day and The Other

Today is a bright and sunny Sunday, the beginning of a crazy- busy week. Next week are all my final crits and papers, all the big ones are on Tuesday and the rest are Friday.
I'm still trying to figure out how the semester got away from me... and what, if anything, I learned.
London's callin'.... Hopefully France too, but that one's on hold for now.
Besides traveling , I'm trying to sort out life, love and all of that. What I mean is, It's all clear, but it's still complicated.
I truely believe that I've found that person with whom I can share his intrests while still enjoying my own. My! What a challenge, but a good one. There aren't many people who can call me on my crap [only my closest friends] but this one can and more, I really have to think to keep it going... and that is amazingly awesome! I love that.