Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.

I’m a mess… it’s 7:30pm on a Friday night, I suppose I should be ‘out’ doing something but you know, I really don’t want to. I would rather not. Now, some might think me anti-social and I very well could be by the standards of most people but I don’t think so. I am selective. And today I figure if I can’t be where I really want to be, with the people I want to see, than I’d rather be alone.
I talked to my brother on the phone yesterday, and we were cut short by him having to take care of a soldier he was taking home, you see, my amazing brother is in the Oklahoma Army National Guard. He is the guy you go to when you have a problem, he deals with all the paperwork, the paychecks, promotions, inspections and all that business…and now they’re sending him, his organizational skills and his whole platoon to Iraq. They’ve extended him a traveling offer he can’t refuse!

Darn! Darn! Darn!
Darn them!!!!!

Them, they, the collective…
Those who make and break the rules and rule us too,

I don’t want it!
Go somewhere else
Do something else
Take someone else!

If this were paper I was writing on, it would be salty-sweet with and wet with tears, but alas, it is only a silvery-grey Apple that records my thoughts with every key I press.
First they took one, and then another and that was bad enough…a couple more went to train and now they’ve gone too far!
They hit too close to home, my metaphorical backyard, they are tearing down my defenses as they say they are building them up, I don’t know if I believe…. So I suppose I’ll have to trust, and hope that they are right and that my suspicions are wrong.

Ok, I think that I am a little more calm, or would it be better to say that I’m calmer? Either way, it is what it is. It is 8:59pm, now it is 9:00pm exactly. I have a laundry list of things to do, laundry being one of them… I talked to a friend I was just thinking of, how fortuitous it was that they were available to converse right at that exact moment. The conversation reminds me of things I want to remember and things I’d rather forget. No faces, no voices only pictures and words…but today it will have to suffice.

Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.
Czech Proverb

Work. It helps and hinders

The days all seem to be melting together in this chilling wind and when I walk into the door, any door I am pulled in all directions at once.
Eight hours of my day today was taken up working, more if you count all of the 'work' I did at home before I left.
I like folding shirts and all but if I did this of my own volition it would be borderline obsessive. It's my job to be obsessive about how neat the clothes are in the store, I guess thats why they've scheduled me three closing shifts since I've been at my new job these past three weeks.
I am slightly disappointed today. This is the second real conversation that I had with one of the guys from work and he is the only one I've met thus far, who is witty, well read [English/Poetry Major], impishly funny and at the same time considerate and charming, plus a good conversationalist and, just my luck, he is leaving to take a job in Cincinnati.
I believe he's going to be a teacher, not that I dislike teachers or anything, on the contrary I quite like them, but I wish I could have talked with this fellow a little bit more. I'm quite starved for decent cultural and literary discussions and would really enjoy a good critique of literature, among other things...
Well, sleep is what I'm striving for at the moment.

Lets Dance

Ecstasy that overwhelming feeling of great joy and happiness…absolute bliss.
Have you ever watched a dancer move across the floor, they seem to barely skim the surface as their Pointe[ed] feet…
Step, pirouette
Step, pirouette
Tendu, ronde de jambe,
Tendu pirouette,
Tombe′ Jete, chase′
plie′
Grande jete!
Their bodies moving and spinning, bending and swaying…
And then slowly the movement of their feet begins to slow and their arms surround you go and you are enveloped in the beauty of their movement…this is ecstasy, this is me. My heart dances with joy when I move towards you and my body tenses when it senses your touch, it is thinking too much and feeling too little. No…that’s not quite right…the feeling is there, but the mind presides, over that bit of mind that allows the emotions to go, but they are controlled by a tight and short rein and rarely allow for letting loose…as much as one might want.